She said more. What to do if a girl does not want a relationship. Stop worrying about what she thinks

Today she said that she would not come again, she would not call and call her a bunny. But you do not believe her words, do not take everything seriously, it seems to you that she is just teasing you. But this is not true, and you, the blonde, understand this deep inside, but you just can’t come to terms with defeat. It’s hard for you, it hurts, but she, the dark-haired one, doesn’t care. Today she has a date with someone else.
Day after day passes, day after night, and she still does not appear. Mental pain overwhelms thoughts, mind ...
During the day, you think about her, remember every centimeter of your body, look everywhere for the familiar smell of hair. At night - you are tormented by insomnia, you cannot fall asleep, seeing this terrible wall, ceiling and closet before your eyes.
Her words are constantly pulsing in the temples. You close your eyes and see it, open it again, the image is in front of you. Every minute without her hurts, you go crazy, you can't find a place for yourself in the apartment, on the street, in the city. Space presses on all sides, suffocates the air.
You're trying to get the dark haired girl out of your head. You watch TV for days, from which your eyes hurt, you squeeze your head. You listen to music that still makes it worse. You have conflicts with your parents. Gradually, the look of a soft, naive hare mutates into a hungry, wolf. The soul hurts, everything is restless inside. "I can not do it anymore! Get away! Leave me alone! Get out of your head! Why are you hurting me? Why are you being punished like that?" - you shout "to yourself". Nothing helps. And you "come" to a foolish thought: "Physical pain will drown out the mental." You take a candle, light it and put your right hand on the fire. Close your eyes and remember it again. Again you feel the gentle touch of your fingertips, pale lips, bringing your whole body into a cold shiver ... You remember the gentle whisper that barely reaches you. Well, what is it? Do you feel physical pain? After all, the skin on your arm is already protruding!? Tears break out in the eyes, tending to fall on swollen cheeks ... a small and very bitter drop of sweat slowly rolls down from the forehead.
On the left hand, the nails dig into the skin of the palm, leaving blue and slightly bloodied marks .... But you do not remove your hand, but you mutter something barely audibly, biting your lower lip with your sharp teeth.
What happened to you? Do you feel any physical pain? No, fair-haired, you feel everything, but this burn is nothing compared to the caresses and glances of the one for which you are able to cut your hands, cut off your favorite hair, just to kiss her again, speak tender words to each other and LOVE!... But everything is already behind ... And you know that she will work up. Will return. But you're too proud and jealous. You won't forgive.
Be patient blond, be patient. It'll all be over soon! And blow out the candle, it's all pointless. Everything will heal, like a burn on the arm and a wound on the heart ... And only the remaining scars will occasionally, at night, remind you of her ...

The girl left the guy. The girl said let's go. Sooner or later, but every guy gets into this situation. Most guys and men, even many times in their lives, experience parting with their girlfriend. This is not always love, this is the first thing that is important to realize. There is also habit and attachment. There is just sympathy, sometimes even falling in love, but much less often - true love. And most importantly, do not confuse love, and just hurt male pride.

When a girl leaves a guy, says that she wants to leave, that she no longer loves, or a girl says that she no longer feels and does not feel sympathy or love for a guy, this hits a man’s pride very hard. And most often, it is the hurt male pride that is confused with love for a girl. Everyone knows that women are much easier to endure parting with a guy, and any other stresses in life. The man, on the other hand, is heavier and more painful. But, everything passes with time.

The girl quit. What to do if a girl left, how to get her back.

It is these questions that pop up endlessly in my head, for the first time after breaking up with a girl. What to do, how to live? How to return it? How will I be without her? I feel so bad, I miss her so much. It seems that I just now realized how much I love her! I want nothing else but to go back, at that time, before these words of hers. If I could go back in time, I would do everything differently. I would appreciate it more, rather than take it for granted. Would treat differently, much better. If only she would give me a second chance, I would prove to her, show her how much I love her and appreciate what she really means to me!

I hasten to answer all these questions in your head and soul. The first mistake is when you start to think that everything is different with you like everyone else, that since you are experiencing this, no one has ever experienced a breakup with a girl like that. That you have a special case, you have real love, while others have it just like that. Although you won’t believe it, absolutely every guy who has been abandoned by a girl thinks so. Especially the first time after a breakup.

The girl said she didn't like it.

After these words, when a girl says that she doesn’t love anymore, she doesn’t want more relationships. He says that he wants to leave, the protective mechanism of a person immediately turns on. And she begins to convince, she said this on emotions, from evil. In fact, she does not think so, or she only thinks so. But in fact, of course she still loves me, and everything will be as before with us. A little time will pass, she will cool down, change her mind, understand that she herself cannot live without me, and of course she will return to me. This is the most common reaction and train of thought. When a girl says she doesn't love anymore.

Good news. Somewhere in 2-3 cases out of 10, this is exactly what happens. Bad news. This can only happen in cases where a girl left a guy, and says that she wants to leave, says that she no longer loves when it comes to just a big quarrel. When people fight over trifles in a serious relationship, they just don't talk to each other for a while. Everyone is waiting for the call of the other. Then someone first calls, apologizes, and everything is getting better. And sometimes, after minor quarrels, relationships only light up with renewed vigor. But, if we are talking about a major misunderstanding, then everything is more serious. It happens that on emotions, a girl can leave a guy, say that she wants to leave, that she no longer loves. But only if all this is said on emotions, after a global quarrel.

Then yes, you can wait a bit, she will cool down and come to her senses. And if you also ask for forgiveness from her, give flowers, then everything will be fine. But, only if we are talking about a major quarrel, and not about such moments that are impossible, or very difficult to forgive, and step over them, continuing the relationship with the guy, as if nothing had happened.

The girl quit. The girl said she didn't love me anymore.

Unfortunately, if a girl says that she no longer loves, that she wants to leave. And if she says this not on emotions, not immediately after a major quarrel. And if she thought it over and weighed all the pros and cons, if she had already begun to think about it a long time ago. I was just looking for the right moment or opportunity to tell the guy about it. In 95 cases out of 100, this is a really deliberate decision, against which there is no point in doing anything. So she really knows what she's talking about. She made up her mind and made a decision.

Of course, there are still 5 cases where a girl dumps a guy to see his reaction. To get him to do something, to move, so to speak. Provoke actions and deeds. Look and check - how much she is dear to you, how you will fight for her, and whether you will. What will you do, how will you behave. But these 5-10 cases out of 100, it's just when the guy just exhausted himself in a relationship. When a girl still loves him. The girl doesn't want to leave the guy. But he wants to stir it up, to freshen up relations a little, rusted from monotony and everyday life.

Yes, it happens that in such a cruel way, leaving the guy, the girl actually wants to improve and refresh the relationship. Sometimes, a girl leaves a guy when she wants to, for herself to understand and feel - but will she be bored, but will she love? And if over time, after parting, the girl, having left the guy, really understands that she misses, that she loves, then she returns to the guy. But this is only 5-10 percent out of 100.

The girl left me. The girl said let's be friends.

When and if, the girl leaves the guy, and at the same time says, let's part as friends. Or let's be friends. Or I need time to think. It's not very good. In most cases, this means that there are most likely no more feelings for a guy, as a man. And she wants to part as friends, just because she lacks the courage or cruelty to leave the guy, causing him a lot of pain. And if you say let's stay friends, then the separation will turn out to be gradual, from a guy to a friend, from a friend to an acquaintance. But it's very painful, especially if she starts dating others. And at the same time, you will be her friend, who will want and dream about something else, but see a picture that is painful for himself.

Therefore, it is best if the girl said let's remain friends, but at the same time you love her, refuse. It is very difficult, almost impossible, to refuse the opportunity to be somehow present in her life, to spend time with her, even as a friend. But over time, you will regret it, because it will be more painful to watch how she will build a new relationship with another. Yes, and it will be unbearable to be next to her, not being able to hug and kiss.

Very rare, really rare, but it happens when a girl left, said let's stay friends, and then, something good comes out of it. Either there is an opportunity to renew the relationship, or to really be friends. But these are very rare cases. No wonder they say when one is friends and the other loves, then this is not friendship, this is ...

The girl quit. What to do if the girl left?

First of all, do not panic, do not think that this is the end of the world, that it will never pass. That I love her, and I will never love anyone again. Heartbreak and all that. It's okay to think that way, feel that way. Whether you like it or not, with time, all this will pass. You will not forget, of course, but the feelings will dull. At first, feelings will prevail over reason, it will be bad, but only at first. After a while, the feelings will dull, and it will get better and better. Depression will pass, and you will just understand one fine day that this is not the end of the world, that you can live on, and even be happy again.

At first, after the girl left, after parting, all acquaintances and friends, relatives, will convince that everything will be fine. But the guy who was dumped by the girl will not trust anyone. Because it will be dominated by feelings and emotions after a recent breakup with a girl. It will seem that this state will never pass. That no one and nothing can help get out of this emotional hole. But just take my word for it - everything will pass! Only the memory of a loved one will remain, but feelings - which are so haunting at first - will pass!

How to survive a breakup with a girl.

The most important thing is not to withdraw into yourself, not to go completely into yourself. Don't poke around in your head. Do not constantly think about how bad you feel. How to get a girl back. How to forget her? And how can you live without it. Always find something to do, whatever. Take on any job. Take a break from thoughts. Avoid loneliness. The most important thing, after breaking up with a girl, is not to be alone. Because while you are alone, it seems that everything is a khan. When there is nothing to be distracted by, after the girl left, that's when it's worst. All free time, after breaking up with a girl, turns into endless reflection. Where and what did I do wrong? Why do I need all this, why did I deserve it all. How to forget a girl? How to get your beloved back? How do I go back to the time before she left me? How good it was then, how bad it is now. How to survive a breakup with a girl? No need! Don't think about it! Relax as soon as you can!

I want to warn you right away, of course, even if you spend 24 hours a day, seven days a week at work or with friends, everything will be bad. But it's not nearly as bad - believe me, it's not as bad as sitting at home and digging in your head!

Broke up with a girl, what to do, how to survive if a girl left?

And now, well-known advice on what to do after separation from your beloved. Avoid anything that might remind you of your loved one. Joint photos and videos, gifts, postcards, and more - in a bucket! Well, or out of sight, hide it all somewhere far and deep, until better times. Don't go to places that remind you of her. Avoid absolutely everything related to her and you. Of course, this is hard, because it will seem that everything and everyone, and absolutely everything around, is reminiscent of past relationships. But this too will pass with time.

When he lets go, and believe me - He will definitely let go! How could you not believe it now! How to survive a breakup with a girl? How to cope with separation from a loved one? What to do if the girl left? There is only one answer to all such questions - Live on! And believe me, just take my word for it, no matter how bad it is today, it will be bad tomorrow, and even the day after tomorrow! But. After a while (for someone like, half a year, two months, even if a year). Then - Everything will be just cool, cool, great, and excellent. Just be patient the first time. No one has left this yet. The first time after separation is always and absolutely terrible for everyone. But for the time being. This is what you live.

How to survive separation from your beloved?

No need to listen to snotty music and watch romantic melodramas. Lying on the couch for days, not leaving the house. Thus, you only go deeper into depression. And you drive yourself into a dead end from which it is impossible to get out. How to survive separation from your beloved? Don't stay at home at all. Walk and chat, travel and have fun. If a girl left you, this does not mean that there is nothing else interesting and cool left in the world. And most importantly, if a girl left you, if you broke up with her, this does not mean that there are no other women left in the world.

A common situation is when a guy, after breaking up with a girl, begins to feel that no one needs him, and no one is interested. But damn it, guys and men, if one woman dumped you. If one woman or girl said that she doesn’t love you anymore, doesn’t want to be with you, but wants to leave, then this is absolutely certain, it doesn’t mean that there aren’t at least a hundred others who are just waiting for such a cool guy and a man for themselves.

Go out into the world, communicate and meet people. Let the first time, after separation, you be with a sour mine, but most importantly, you don’t need to communicate with all your friends and strangers - just about how bad you feel, your girlfriend left you, and the like. No need to turn into a whiner. You don’t need to feel sorry for yourself in front of everyone and every person, and provoke other people to feel sorry for you. You are alive and well, this is the main thing!

A severed leg cannot be returned, it is hard to live with a paralyzed vertebra! And you are alive and well. Young and good-looking. Like the women around you. Damn, you still have your whole life ahead of you! Rejoice damn it!

People and not with such diagnoses as a broken heart coped. Paralyzed - got up from their chairs! Blind - see clearly! Without arms, they learned to cope with their feet, without legs - with their hands! And you have your division all in place. Nothing untoward happened. It's okay, heartbreak is just a figure of speech, not a diagnosis. Heart disease - that's the diagnosis! And the broken one will hurt and stop. And even more than that, he will again be happy and enjoy life, just a little later! It's all good, period.

The girl left, how to get her back? How to get back a girl who left?

See what was the matter. If you yourself are to blame for something serious in front of her, cheated there, or something else, then, of course, everything depends on her decision. Of course, you can, and of course you need to apologize, beg for forgiveness. Give her flowers and gifts. And most importantly, ask for forgiveness a lot, and promise that this will never happen again. That you understand that you acted badly and shamelessly. And very unfair to her. That she did not deserve this, and deserves better treatment and respect for herself. And you will definitely become so, better than you have ever been in life.

But, if the girl left you, and cannot forgive you, even after all the apologies and promises. How to get back a girl who left? Which, after all your attempts and diligence, everything just cannot forgive you. To return the girl who left, in this case, is almost impossible. You are so guilty before her that she can no longer trust you, and worst of all, the girl stopped loving you. And to return the girl who fell out of love is unrealistic! It's better to be calm and let go. Draw conclusions for the future, and henceforth, in new relationships, not to make the same mistakes.

Well, it was about what to do if it was your own fault if a girl left you. But, if we are talking about those cases when a girl has fallen out of love, she says that she no longer loves, that let's part as friends, or the worst, the girl says that she loves another. In all these cases, it is almost useless to fight for her and your relationship. Although, of course, fight, so that later, over time, do not reproach yourself for not trying to do everything you could. So that you don't feel guilty about yourself. For the fact that the girl left you, and you did not even try to do anything, and fight for her and your serious relationship with her.

The girl says that she no longer loves, says that she loves another.

In this case, there is no point in fighting. Especially if she really feels that way, and made a conscious and deliberate decision. If she just tests you, or provokes you to action, then there is still a chance to achieve and win her heart again. But this is very rare, and it really feels like she just eats the brain, and does not want to part with you. But in most cases, if a girl says that she does not love, or says that she has fallen in love with another guy, this is serious and true. And again, you should have noticed the signals of this for a long time in this case. Relationship problems, constant scandals and quarrels, showdowns for any reason.

If all this happened, if it had long been clear and had a premonition that everything was going to that, then there was nothing to be surprised at. So, she really has been thinking about your relationship for a long time, and deciding and deciding whether to leave the guy or not, break up with the guy or not, whether to destroy serious and long relationships? And if she has already made a conscious and well-thought-out decision from all sides, then it is almost impossible to convince her otherwise.

All that remains for you is to draw conclusions and not repeat mistakes in subsequent relationships. Try to find out what is the matter, what went wrong, what exactly is your fault, what is wrong with you. And fix all these bugs and problems in the near future.

The girl says that she loves another.

If this is true, then again, in this case, it is better to accept and let her go. No need to waste time and energy in this case. Everything will be pointless. No need to run after her, try to pity, this will only make things worse for her, and for you, and for everyone. Separate peacefully so that she at least has respect for you. Of course, again, there are times when a girl says that she fell in love with another guy or a man, but, over time, they return to their ex-boyfriends.

It happened more than once with me and my friends, you get to know each other, communicate, go on dates with a woman. The girl says that she left the guy, broke up with the guy for sure. She says she doesn't love her ex-boyfriend anymore. She does not want to be with him, does not want to return to him. Then he calls her, they meet a couple of times, and that's it, he returns to the former. But, it is a huge rarity when everything happens just like that. There are many more cases, almost 90 percent out of 100, that the girl will return to her ex-boyfriend. Only if he left her himself, and if she still has feelings for him. Then yes, the new guy has no chance, against the long-term relationship of the former. But only if the girl loves the ex-boyfriend, if she really fell out of love, then nothing will definitely help her return.

Most importantly, advice to all the guys that the girl dumped. No need to chase her, bother her, threaten her new boyfriends. To spend the night under doors and to be humiliated, to cause self-pity. This can only work if the girl still has feelings. And then, most likely not for long. Everyone knows that most relationships after parting, even if they are renewed, are not for long. All the reasons and problems due to which people broke up, one way or another, sooner or later, but will again make themselves felt. And in the event that the girl does not love, if she really fell out of love, or really fell in love with another guy, and with all this you will bother her. Chase her, call her a hundred times a day, bombard her with languid and long-suffering messages. You will only cause irritation and disgust for yourself.

It is better to leave in time in this case, in order to at least maintain dignity and respect for yourself, both yours and hers. That's all for now. In the near future, we will write more than one article on the topic - What to do if a girl quit? How to survive a breakup with a loved one? How to get a girlfriend back and how to get an ex girlfriend back? For now, that's all. Good luck and everything will be fine.

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A woman may say she doesn't want a relationship. And not for any particular reason, but simply because.

And don't take it seriously "I have too much work now" or “I haven’t moved on from past relationships yet”. These are all excuses. The reason is different. Why does a girl really not want a relationship? What to do if a girl does not want a relationship? To spit on everything and not meet or turn on the man mode and achieve it?

What if the girl doesn't want a relationship:

1. What is the reason she doesn't want a relationship?

If a girl says she doesn't want a relationship, she's lying. Yes, yes, that's exactly what it is.

3. You can not force.

What should be done? First of all, explain to yourself that not all is lost. You have many other options.

It is with this attitude that you can begin to take action to win the girl.

4. Stop worrying about what she thinks.

Stop thinking about what's on her mind. Develop the habit of not replaying various possible outcomes in your head. Make it easy for yourself. Be that as it may, the most important person in your life is yourself.

Therefore, you should only care about what you personally feel. Based on your feelings and emotions, your behavior should develop. A woman keenly feels your mood and notices all the hidden signals of behavior. How you feel is of paramount importance.

Your self-confidence, stamina and originality will determine which group you are in: potential friends or men.

Relax and accept that she needs you as a friend. Take care of yourself, have fun, have fun and do not limit yourself in communicating with other women.

It is forbidden:

• send her messages every day;
• share your "feelings";
• ask her when she will be ready for a relationship;
• give her too much attention;
• put pressure on her.

What then is possible?

1. Befriend her friends.

No one has such a strong influence on her as her friends. So one of your goals is to befriend her friend.

If you suddenly found yourself at the same party, try to get to know her friend better. Chat with her, show yourself from the best side.

You can use this useful acquaintance for another purpose. She will see how much attention you pay to her friend and may become unconsciously jealous.

There is a chance that she will wake up the fear of missing you. It will also get worse if a friend starts telling her how cool you are.

2. Let things unfold gradually.

I understand how difficult it is to force yourself to be patient and learn to wait.

So, if she is not ready for a serious relationship, build a non-serious one. Start dating her on an occasional basis without determining your status.

The goal is to give her the impression that she doesn't owe you anything. That she is still free and dating you just like that.

After calling her a couple of times, wait for the next time she will do it herself. Don't try to talk to her about relationships.

The essence of this method is that over time, she will begin to get used to your meetings and become attached to you. And this leads directly to a permanent relationship.

3. Set deadlines.

This doesn't always work. Therefore, you must determine for yourself the terms during which you are ready to continue to achieve it.

If you don't invest, get over it. Most likely, it really is about her. Then give her freedom.

You have no right to spend a lot of your time on something that cannot be fixed now. It is likely that on the next street you will meet a woman who is ready to build a relationship with you.

If a girl told you that she doesn't want a relationship, know that this is not always true and not necessarily forever. Try to find out what is really hidden behind these words.

If you do everything right, you will see that you have every chance of becoming her boyfriend.

Did you read the article? But how do you put all this information into practice? How to get step-by-step and comprehensive instructions to achieve a specific girl?

You will learn about this at a paid training "How to turn a woman's NO into a woman's YES".

Hello, I want to tell the reason for my suicidal mood.

I got acquainted through the network, at the beginning we just talked, then we decided to meet (I didn’t see the photo before the meeting, I liked it even without it). When they met, they liked each other, went for walks, etc. A week later we started dating.
Love was just fabulous, so strong, passionate and at the same time tender. We were together for 1.5 years. Almost every day together, they couldn’t stand parting, they talked on the phone until 3 am and rushed to each other early in the morning. I got on well with her parents. We went to the sea together ... my whole life was connected only with her.
But now, like 2 months ago, we broke up, she said that she no longer loves me, for me it was a strong blow. she became my world, she was my everything. I'm not even afraid to say - the meaning of life. I was so happy with her... but now she's gone.
During these 2 months, I fought hard for her, but to no avail. Yesterday she cut off completely and irrevocably.

I am incredibly hurt and I can no longer endure this pain. I have never been a physically or mentally strong person, I have always been very worried about trifles ... but this is not a trifle at all.
During these 2 months, I realized that I would never be happy with anyone as I was with her, there would never be exactly the same relationship and the same feelings. I don't see a future in my life.. it doesn't exist. I want to die... most likely I won't be able to live like this anymore... I wake up every morning and remember how good it was and I understand that it's lost forever. And I can't deal with this pain anymore. I scream at the top of my lungs in pain and beg to be taken away from this disgusting world, but in response, silence.

This world is already vile, but I had my ray of light that gave me hope for the best, but now it is gone and I see no reason to live on ... my life is meaningless.

I really want to talk to someone about this, but all my friends are already tired of my problems and shield me as a fool ... which I am.

I'm so lonely right now
Support the site:

Sasha, age: 06/19/2009

Responses:

Sasha, why did you decide that the whole world is vile? And have you tried anything to make the world a better place? After all, this world is the environment in which you yourself live, your beloved lives. Have you ever wanted to make the world your loved one lives in better? Maybe this is the reason for your breakup?
Also, have you thought about how vile the world will be for your family if you commit suicide? And you want the girl to remember you as such a loser, a coward incapable of anything? No, brother, let's get a grip. If you already broke up, then make an effort so that she remembers you as a strong person who can overcome difficulties. Change yourself and the world around you will change. And who knows - maybe then, when she sees you strong, successful, self-confident, she will regret that she broke up with you.
You are not the first and you are not the last who has to part with a loved one. It seems to you now that the pain will be eternal. But time will pass - and the pain will subside. Believe me. You will still be happy. Of course, on one condition - on the condition that you stay alive.

Alla, age: 39/15.06.2009

And you look around, murders, disasters and a lot, a lot of pain, lies and hatred are everywhere. No, I didn't try. I am unable to change the whole world, I was only trying to create our own, small world... where everything was wonderful and beautiful. In which we loved each other and we didn’t need anything else, just to be together and feel the warmth, each other’s breath. And I tried with all my might to make my beloved happy in this world and I completely immersed myself in this world of love and tenderness.
That's what stopped me... my parents. Although I am more than sure that they would like a better son ... I do not argue, they love me for who I am, but even less, I constantly upset them with my successes at the institute, I try, but still upset them. They wanted to be able to do something, to find their own business, and I ... a real loser, for what I don’t undertake - nothing happens.
My beloved already knows that I am a coward and a weakling, I came to her house more than once and sobbed in her arms saying how much I love her and how much I suffer that I miss her. And she knows about my two suicidal stupidities.
Even if she regrets that she broke up with me, she still will not return to me, we will never be together, and I will never be happy. Right now she is writing to different guys such words as the sun and the bunny, but before that she only called me that way, so gently and so sweetly, and my heart melted at the same time.
When I understand that she doesn’t care about me, that now she will have another one, my heart squeezes very hard, so much that I already cringe in pain. I didn’t believe in it before, I thought that it only happens in movies and books that my heart hurts from love, but it hurts. And at night I have attacks of arrhythmia.
I have been wanting to go to church for a long time and ask for help to give me the strength to endure this. Every day is grey, gloomy and meaningless.

I want to say thank you to the one who wrote to me on soap ... thank you for reminding me again of my loved ones whom I would have hurt, you saved me.
But I'm not sure that this will not happen again if the pain does not subside, it only gets stronger and sometimes it really seems that there is simply no other way.

Sasha, I see this world every day, just like you. But besides murders, lies, catastrophes, hatred in the world there are also pure smiles of children, humble, kind and sad eyes of old people, there is love, friendship, compassion for others. The world has two sides - light and dark. Yes, no one person can change the whole world. But each of us can contribute to one of the sides of the world - for good or for evil. And the side in which you invest your efforts becomes stronger at this moment. You wanted to create a separate isolated world for yourself and your beloved - this is a utopia, Sasha. You can't isolate yourself from society. And such categorical isolation cannot lead to anything good. We must slowly learn to love the world as it is. After all, it was into this world that our Lord Jesus Christ came. It was such sinful and fallen people like us, losers and weaklings, that He loved and for the sake of our salvation endured suffering and humiliation. We cannot forget about this.
Be sure to go to church, and not just go, but every day ask the Lord to give you the strength to survive this difficult period in your life. God will not leave the sincerely asking, He will surely strengthen. But do not forget that you yourself must make efforts to fill your heart with goodness. To do this, read more useful literature for the soul. Be sure to read the gospel - even an unbelieving person helps to get rid of spiritual anguish. You can read Anthony Surozhsky, the book "Man Before God" http://www.wco.ru/biblio/books/antons23/Main.htm
Gradually, good thoughts will drive out dark thoughts from your heart. For it is known from where thoughts of suicide come to mind:
You're a good man for thinking about your parents. And you know - you're a good son. And success in studies, future work - all this will follow. In the end, this is not the main thing that defines a Man. The main thing is to educate your soul.
Try to forgive your loved one and let her go. It will be an act of a strong courageous person. You can do it. The pain of separation will gradually subside. But the heart will become purer, and you will become wiser. Look also here for materials on how to survive a breakup: http://www.perejit.ru/main/how_to_forget , http://www.perejit.ru/main/crisis?id=138
Yes, by the way, today we have a holiday - the year of our forum So, be sure to come to our forum.
For the letter on soap it is not necessary gratitude. Glad you made the right choice and you are with us.
Strengthen you, Lord!

Alla, age: 40 (last time I made a mistake, gave myself a little less) / 06/16/2009

Sasha, I also broke up with my beloved two months ago. Come to us to communicate on the forum www.nelubit.ru. Maybe you will become a little lighter in life ...

Lenta, age: 23 / 16.06.2009

I didn't even try to isolate myself from the outside world. we interact with it in one way or another. I just wanted to be distracted from him more often and not think about anything bad, but just enjoy life.
I like the phrase so much -
To love is to find your own happiness in the happiness of another.
It was so wonderful to understand that someone needs you, that it is you who makes this person happy and from this you yourself become happy.
How I want to return everything, those joyful days, that feeling ...
I cry every day remembering her, everything and everywhere reminds me of her and those times and it kills me. It seems to me that it will always be, that I will compare any other with her and I will think - but with Diana it was different ...
What if true love is given only 1 time, what if I can’t love anyone else like her.
Nobody has ever loved her as much as I love her... NOBODY!!! I called it my destiny and I believed in it.

Sasha, age: 19 / 16.06.2009

"To love is to find in the happiness of another one's own happiness." - so let her go, Sasha, let her be happy. It's a shame, it hurts - but it must be endured. It's all because of our pride is so hard to experience. Get through this period. It will pass and you will get better. Here you were invited to the www.nelubit.ru forum - a very good forum. Be sure to go, at least read other people's topics. There will be a holiday on your street! You will see!

Alla, age: 40 / 06/16/2009

Sasha, yes, at first - you will compare, it is inevitable, everyone does it. But you know... there's one absolutely gorgeous film, French Kiss, watch it if you can. There, GG-th asks a very nice woman why she is trying so hard to return the groom, who simply ran away from her and from responsibility. And she replies: "I loved him so much that I'm afraid - if he does not return, I will never forget him, and I will not be able to love him anymore." To which GG-th very wisely replies, “Yes, at first it will be so, but time heals, believe me. First you will forget his smile, then his height, and then you will wake up and you won’t be able to remember what color his eyes are. And then you will ready to open your heart to a new love."
Sashenka, believe it or not, but this is the truth. I was 19 when I first fell in love, I loved him madly - he, of course, left me (he played and got tired). I came to my senses for two years, I sobbed right on the street, I just cried, seeing him, or remembering what we had. I lashed out at anyone who said I would ever love anyone again. Now I'm 36, I'm happily married, and ... one day my mother and I met him on the street. My first love Mom recognized him, she knows his mother, and I ... I just didn’t recognize him. At all.
Just like her, you really will not love anyone else - you will love in a different way. Now it sounds like blasphemy to you, but it's true. There will be another feeling - adult, mature, deeper and calmer. Sashenka, an even flame burns longer, but it remains a flame. Tender, calm, self-confident love can last a lifetime - passions, even the most ardent ones, cannot do it. And love is not given only once, it is not given at all, love is labor, it is a state of will, and whether love comes out of falling in love depends on many things. Here, read, everything is written here very correctly:
http://www.perejit.ru/main/how_to_forget?id=14 The past is not in our power to return, and I'm sure that's for the best. You need to live for today, perceiving every hour you live as a victory over pain, over separation, over betrayal, over yourself ... But - you need to live. Certainly. God help you.

Well, after separation and before marriage, were there still the same strong feelings?
But in general, this is what oppresses me, the fact that at this age love is the most passionate, the most sincere, childishly naive ... and it's so wonderful.

Yesterday I wrote to her that I forgive her for everything and let her go. That I will no longer call her and tell her how much I love her. I'll try not to show my jealousy. Although I imagine that she is with another and just tears me apart, it is at such moments that I don’t want to live.
I don't understand why you call it pride. I have long since lost my pride. Since I forgave her and asked her to return when she was at fault. At that time, I often humiliated myself .. they send me, but I still call and come.

Well, you are great. Began to act. Forgiving and letting go is the key. True, for this to really happen in your heart, it will take time. But if you set yourself up for it, then everything will work out.
Yes, Sasha, it's our pride and our self that manifest themselves like this: "Although I can imagine that she's with someone else and she's just tearing me apart...". But think about it, would you like her to stay with you, but at the same time live like a bird in a cage, not loving you, being unhappy from this? After all, you would not be happy with this situation, you would also suffer all the time.
You have been given so many useful links here, have you read them? If there are problems and disagreement, then it would be useful to discuss. Come all the same to the forum - to us or to Dislike.

Alla, age: 40 / 06/17/2009

Well, every day I go to the forum, I read a lot, but in principle, what they write here is enough for me.
And about the bird in the cage - even when her love was gone, I tried to return everything and she was not against it, and I tried my best and when we were together she was still very good, much better than without me ... but probably to say that she was exactly that happy, I could not.

Sasha, age: 19 / 17.06.2009

There were, and very strong ones, I just learned to control my feelings, because when they controlled me, it was not very good :))
Sasha, here you write "at this age, love is the most passionate, the most sincere, childishly naive ... and it's so beautiful" - but there is little beauty in this. It's wonderful when you love in such a way that you don't care who your loved one is with, as long as he is happy. So loved my class teacher her friend - all his life. But it is also a very difficult love, and it is rarely the first. Because first love is a passion that one way or another, but leaves, often leaving a void, this is blindness - and suddenly a blind person inevitably stumbles, hits and stuffs bumps, that is, hurts himself, this is the belief that everything can be forgiven , to be near forever, constantly, etc. You know, my husband is my most difficult love, but also the most wonderful. The most profound and sincere. But - I don’t know if you will understand, in the sense, if I write clearly, my husband is NOT the meaning of my life, NOT the only thing I have. He is the closest person to me, yes. The most native - without a doubt. But not my world. When one person is your whole world, this is passion. Best case scenario. You call your ex-girlfriend a "beam of light" and immediately write that you were sent, and you returned. It was your ray of light that sent you, right? And he, that is, she, at least apologized? Did you ask for forgiveness? Or did you forgive her just to be with her? Most likely, the second, and now you need to learn to be without it, the way babies learn to walk - step by step, falling, getting up, and continuing to walk. Good luck to you, dear!

Irina, age: 36/17.06.2009

You can’t go into the same water twice .. your relationship can’t be returned, and you need to come to terms with this. You need to distract yourself from thoughts about her .. occupy yourself with something .. set yourself some kind of goal .. and achieve it. This world is not as hopeless as it seems. And in general .. we should be glad that we are here .. that we can see. hear.. feel.. It's just a test on the way to happiness.. All good things always happen unexpectedly.. you will meet the one and only.. Life does not end.

Lost, age: 17/29.06.2009

I still communicate with her and somewhere in the depths of my soul I still have hope and I try as best I can, but she cannot figure out her feelings. It’s not so hard for me anymore, only occasionally, when she hurts me very much, I suffer, but still ... I believe and hope. My love is too strong for me to be distracted from it or even to forget.
Yesterday she hurt me especially:
About a week ago, she invited me to the square for a concert in honor of the graduates, she had 2 invitations to the fan zone. I have already begun to dream about how great everything will be, how we will have fun, sing along and dance, etc. But at the last moment she tells me that they agreed to go with the whole class and that she cannot go with me. Like they have already graduated and it is not known when they will meet again all together blah blah blah ...
The whole day I walked around the city, where I just did not go, and in the evening I decided to go to the square. When I arrived, the people there were just intentional, I barely made my way to the fence in the fan zone. And when someone on the stage started talking about love... I could not stand it and climbed over and ran to look for her... they really caught me right there and put me well. I explained for a long time, asked and begged, in the end, they let me through. I searched for it for more than an hour and a half and did not find it (that area is huge), after which I went out upset from there. And when I was already leaving the square, I decided to call her again and still got through, she was not far away at McDonald's, her class was divided, and she was with her best friends. When I saw everyone off, I stayed with her ... we talked for a long time, but there was no more hope, but I hold on.

At the moment I want to do 2 more things for her, 2 romantic days with surprises, after which I will leave her alone.

Sasha, age: 06/19/2009

That's it, right now I'm just a complete jerk, I'm hysterical and panicking, I'm just scared and sick. I can't bear the pain... it feels like I'm about to die...
It's all... the end. Last night I saw Diana's correspondence with Vova, where they talked about sex and when was the last time someone had ...
Damn, as always, I couldn’t contain my feelings, but I tried, I really tried to restrain them, but it didn’t work out ... and she told me that I already got her, got her with my jealousy, showdowns and tears and that she didn’t want neither see nor hear me. But everything was so good ... well, at least everything was fine on her part, but it was still hard on my part. She practically did not answer me with warmth and affection. She's like a cat, she just let herself be loved.

She was my life and now it's over, I won't survive it ... the fact is that I absolutely can't be nervous, I have a disease - Gilbert's syndrome and when I'm nervous my bilirubin level rises in my blood, and this is very taxic crap, and the blood then circulates throughout the body, so I can’t stand it for a long time. The disease is not treated, it is congenital.
I so much wanted to make 2 romantic days for her, a trip to the forest for barbecue, which she dreamed of for so long ... just the two of us, nature, communication and barbecue, and a romantic dinner on the roof of the house by candlelight. On the day when I had to prepare for the retake of the exam, I spent half a day learning how to make candlesticks from bottles so that they would not blow out on the roof. I wanted to give her the most beautiful days of her life and everything would be perfect... but what happened just killed me. Especially her words ... how it hurts me, it presses so hard in my chest and the feeling that I am suffocating.
She does not understand that I am dependent on her, does not understand, and therefore torments me. I need her warmth, her care ... I just want to be near her and nothing else. I just wanted to fight and show my love for her, just make her happy. I gave my heart to her a long time ago and I am drawn to him ... to my heart, but she does not let her, but only does what she tramples the fragments in the dust.

Every night I kneel at the window and ask for forgiveness from the Lord, but every subsequent day is getting worse and worse. What if he is not there at all?, I always tried to be a good person, maybe I made mistakes, but I asked for forgiveness for them and tried to improve ... why then does he allow me to suffer so much, why did he take her away from me when I need her so much. I'm already tired of crying, screaming into the pillow and smashing my hands against the wall. I stuff myself with valerian. I have arrhythmias very often. I don’t eat anything, and if I do, then I vomit - this is due to bilirubin (this has already happened once)
And now, it seems to me that everything that I have, wonderful parents, friends, and much more about what others are only possible and dream of ... that I do not deserve all this, I am so pathetic and weak ... and I don’t even I have the strength to change it (although I try)

Forgive me for these words, but I no longer believe that everything can be fine and even began to doubt the existence of God, and given that I doubted him ... now it will be even worse for me. No matter how you tell me, no matter how you prove it, I will not believe in a good outcome, because Every day I get worse and worse. No one in the world has ever been a person, loves and will love as much as I love, NOBODY!!!
My dream... is to give my life for her, but on the other hand, I hope that there will never be such a need.

Sasha, age: 07/19/2009